You can’t force love.

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” Psalms 17:8, NIV.

When it comes to love, you want the kind that comes naturally, not love that is forced. Maybe there’s someone in your life that you love a great deal, but they don’t feel the same way you do and it makes you want to change in order to keep them interested.

The thoughts in your mind may say, “I can make them love me. I can change and become whatever they want me to be. I can change careers, change my hair, get plastic surgery, have their child, or leave everything I know. I can change the way I behave. They will love me; I just have to…” You shouldn’t have to change yourself to get love. If God loves you just how you are, anyone He sends your way will also love you just how you are.

At the heart of real love is acceptance. Anything you have to change to get, you will have to constantly change in order to keep. Love is most beautiful when it is unforced and not manipulated. Let love happen by God’s divine orchestration. Whatever He sends your way He will give you the grace and wisdom to handle. You may not be the apple of someone’s eye just yet, but you are surely the apple of God’s eye. You may not have a David Jonathan kind of friendship just yet, but you have one with God. He loves you in every state and in every season. He took off His priestly garments and wrapped you in robes of righteousness. You will never be able to reach the bottom of God’s love for you!

Until someone can love you even remotely close to that kind of love, honey they don’t deserve you.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for speaking to my heart. I know You love me. Help me know it in a deeper way. Deal with the deeper fears in me and shine your light on every false view I have of myself. I deserve real love and I trust You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

21 thoughts on “You can’t force love.”

  1. What if the pendulum swings the opposite way? For me it’s, I have been married to a man for over 8 years and we have one beautiful, wonderful child together. I never was naturally in love with him but he felt safe. He was a Christian, hard worker and felt like a safe person. But since then he has lied repeatedly, said awful things to me while drinking and repeatedly looked at porn over the course of our marriage. I wanted so bad to make this work for God and my child but all the things that made the relationship work are now gone- he’s not a safe space. I never naturally was ‘in love with him’.. I know God loves me regardless of my marital state. And this was a good word, but unfortunately for me the pendulum swings the opposite way- I just don’t love him and he definitely doesn’t feel safe anymore. My heart is just too hardended towards him. I wouldn’t change any of it though because I now have my daughter.

    1. Dear sister,

      Dig deep sometimes its so hard i have been married 22 years and through so much but sometimes i have to bend the knee and cry to God to ask him to restore my love for my husband and i know there is power in that prayer. as Jesus does it for me every time God is faithful xx

    2. God may have something better for you. Children can be happier when sadness is not surrounding them. I know the official story is “Christianity says never get divorced” but you can think outside of the box of traditions which benefit men who do not benefit women. Staying in bad relationships is unhealthy. But – I may be wrong. But God doesn’t want to punish you for life for a mistake, by forcing you to stay in a dead relationship, arguably. He has allowed you to learn you deserve better maybe

    3. Friend. God sent me to the comment section for a reason. I have also been married for 8 years… with one beautiful child. To a man I never “naturally loved.” He is no longer a safe space. He takes and doesn’t give. He hurts me with his words and actions. BUT, I’m loving him still. I encourage you to do the same. Do not allow your heart to become hard. If you accomplish nothing else, at least focus on keeping a tender heart toward him. I think that we should be careful in how we define and speak about love. Love is simply “obedience to God’s commands.” When we bring in all sorts of other factors like physical appearance, feelings, and making changes, the simple definition of love gets twisted. Love is simply obeying His commands which are all throughout scripture. His commands never speak of physical appearance, feelings, or anything outside of our control. They are commandments of forgiveness, mercy, grace, patience, peace making, selflessness, and so on. And sometimes those commands do look like making changes for another person. Read the book of 2 John. It is for you. God sees you.

      1. 2 John 1:8 ESV “that you may be rewarded fully”. FULLY. Don’t take things into your own hands, at your own time to receive a portion of your reward. Wait on the Lord so that He may reward you fully. It’s a long road. I’m still on it. Living back at my parents. Out of the home we built together. Rejected. And I still choose to love.

        1. Sorry I keep adding more😂 But, the number eight in the
          Bible signifies Resurrection
          and Regeneration. It is the
          number of a new beginning.
          Eight is 7 plus 1 and since it
          comes just after seven,
          which itself signifies an end
          to something, so eight is also
          associated with the beginning
          of a new era or that of a new

  2. So true Pastor Tripett how I’ve found out you can’t force love you only hurt yourself.The Lord is my true love after the death of my natural husband..The Lord has been good to me.

  3. I been there. I realize if it the hard way. It hurts but so. I glad I am a friend of God. He calls me friend. He loves me and will not leave or forsake me.

    This devotional is needed. I just have to make sure I am not weary when the love comes. I hope I don’t push it away. Will I be able to receive love when the Lord sends it.

    Pray for me. Blessings, Shalom and Agape. Thanks…🙏❤🙏❤🙏

  4. Thank YOU my LORD FATHER GOD,” in JESUS Name AMEN ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  5. Craving approval is like an addiction except you never get any “high” since the approval never comes when you chase it. I say this but welcome to my life lol. I know logically but act emotional however I hope to get treatment eventually. Thank u so much for your truths you share Amdn thank you Jesus

  6. I really Love the man I’m with! We’ve had hard times though, we’re recovering addicts. Went to treatment together, got sober together. Been together a little over 2 years. Love reading Bible together, God, church, Christian 🎶. But relationship in addiction was HIGHLY abusive!!! Unexspressable pain, trauma. Now, he treats me like I’m a queen. So kind..when he relapsed once went instantly back pure evil, till he came down. Sober. Used too his presence, his touch, his kiss, the thoughts of him gave me the most unbelievable feeling!! Butterflies love. Even through the darkness. Until this last 2 relapse ago, the one before treatment. He had one more after that. Lasted a couple days. But the one before that, I felt Great relief, but it felt as if a blankness, came upon me. Like a part of my heart died. And it never came back. I don’t get that feeling anymore when. We touch, hug kiss or make love. It hurts so bad. But I still love him, our friendship. Working together. I cant figure out what God’s doing….but I really love him and the way he loves God when he’s sober. My parents love him. I never had a relationship with my brother till I got with andrew. I miss the passion we had for one another. Is it gone?? Did we destroy what we had???my mom once said God gave Andrew to me. I have so much faith in us, but I feel something is missing. Any advice????? Prayers please 🙏

  7. Nobody but my Daddy could have ensured this was divinely written for me! Glory.Hallelujah! Bless & continue to cover the beautiful vessel, Mrs. K.T. who transcripted it to me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.