“I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” Song of Solomon 7:10, NIV.
When it came time to choose who I would marry, I remember pleading with God to speak to me. I wanted Him to speak with lightening in His voice and with many waters, “Kesha, marry this one!” In my mind, I had three options: The guy I had known since middle school who my mother absolutely adored, the guy from my youth ministry who was on fire for God, and the one I had met in college who was a campus ministry president, handsome, and loved the Lord. Right from the start, I knew there was something different about the third guy. So I stood back and observed how he treated others, how he treated his mother, how he treated me, and how he behaved in different situations. After years of building a solid friendship, I knew he was a good one, but was he the one for me?
I remember, as I sat on my bedroom floor, I said, “Lord, I don’t want to marry the wrong guy and be miserable. I desperately need you to show me if he’s for me!” God didn’t say a word. Instead, He opened my eyes to see the obvious: this guy loved me and I loved him. He never pressured me to have sex before marriage, he never cursed at me, never raised his hand at me, never cheated on me, and never made me feel like anything less than God’s daughter. I wouldn’t have settled for anything less because I know who I am and what I deserve. But to see someone do this for me out of a love for God blessed me to no end.
I married him because God helped me recognize real love.
If you are single ask yourself this, do you know real love when you see it? Real love is the bond that holds a relationship together through anything. That kind of love only comes from the Lord, my sister. It can only be seen when you stand back and observe. Know your worth and don’t settle. Wait for real love.
Prayer: Father God, I thank you for your wisdom. I want real love. Help me understand what it is. Help me not be blinded by sexual desires or by what someone can do for me. Help me wait until you bless me with the one you have waiting for me. Open my eyes to see real love when he comes my way. Show me who I am and my worth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
(Read James 1:17; Hebrews 10:36)
Don’t settle. Wait for real love.
“I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” Song of Solomon 7:10, NIV.
24 thoughts on “Don’t settle. Wait for real love.”
This is good Word. Thank you for the reminder not to settle. I’ve been seeing a guy for 8 months. He is highly intellectual, just completed his PhD. He has a good steady job, well versed, well traveled, loves his mom and his special needs daughter, confesses salvation and even introduced me to my church. The biggest problem is how he treats me, I don’t feel special. I feel like an after thought most of the time, like the last thing on the list. I’ve mentioned this several times and he says it’s not true; I’ve even attempted to end the relationship and he won’t let me give up on us. If I complain he’ll do better for awhile, even bought a gorgeous bouquet of flowers once as a peace offering; but he never really changes. I recently had major surgery and he was there to get me to and from the hospital; he also took care of my mom, who came from out of town to be with me); but I never got a flower or get well card or anything from him. He’s a kind guy, I enjoy being with him, we’ve never had a cross word; but he’ll go MIA sometimes for a couple days, and if I don’t reach out, I dont hear from him. Having been married before and divorced for 14 years, when I do marry again I don’t want to settle; I want to be adored, be special. Is that too much to ask for?
Judy, not every guy is a cards and flowers, kind of guy.
You said he took care of you and your mother, that’s more than cards and flowers. However your intuition, can sometimes be the Holy Spirit…it’s the missing for a couple of days that would cause me to wait it out a bit longer. Time will tell.
Taking you to and from the hospital may have been more for his appearance sake. I’m only speaking from experience, you’ve only invested 8 months take the word of God as it comes through other people. You don’t need anyone’s Council. You already know in your heart, that you’re not happy.
Wait for real love. You can find yourself waiting for most of your life and maybe never find that special guy who makes you feel special and you would still be better off than the person who settles. Anyway, only God can fill that place in your heart, that missing piece. He’s the true lover of my soul.
No it’s not my sister do not settle my daughter husband cheated on her so do not settle if he do not make you feel special or adore you do not settle wait on the Lord I say wait on the Lord and be of good courage wait I say peace and blessings
You stated, “he’ll go missing for a couple of days and if you don’t reach out – you don’t hear from him.” I believe God is asking you to look at this behavior. If you are the last thing on his list it won’t change if you marry him. Stand true to your own convictions. Give him all the time he needs when he goes missing. Let him come after you and if he doesn’t its ok, there is a man that will. Praying God give you the patience and courage to wait.
He sounds like he has Asperger’s. Look it up and pray about it. Marriage will not change him. I’m married to a man with Asperger’s and it’s a daily struggle that I have to run to God with. If God is revealing it to you now, then be still and wait on the Lord! May God bless you my sister in Christ!
So funny and interesting enough how tonight I took a cruise in my car and had this very same conversation with Jesus. I talked with Him for awhile and shared my heart with Him. I’m just going to leave it right here and allow God to do what He does best, when He wants to, the way He wants to, and with the one He wants and has for me.❤️ This devo encouraged me.❤️ I just love when God shows up and shows me in the little things that He was listening. I don’t know what will happen exactly, but I trust He does.
I agree my sister, I agree…in this situation I’m just going to be still…it is such a peace to know He hears us😊 What an awesome God we serve.
Good morning ladies thank you for this word I have been a widow for almost 11 years and celibate since my husband passed. My prayer has been for God to be first in my life and when it’s time and in His will I will see His choice for me. I wrote it in my journey. Then the prophecy was revealed just as I had written it. Thank you now it’s time for me to wait on God. In Jesus name.
Lord you so deep in my business I am praying everyday for you to show me the real love that you have for me Lord I just want to thank you for your wonderful work you are doing in my life 🙏🏿
Glory To God!! This is For Me!! My Lord knows that Ive been hurting so much emotinslly with the Guy that moved for me from TX to Fl. Sounds nice, right, well its been more tears than joy! He is a believer, his studies, seeks God, “BUT” Emotionally he cannot & had not been there for me. Yes. God is at work in his life! He wants marriage, his words his speak, say his in Love, yet his actions DON’T match. This is NOT one accord! Theirs no peace, emptiness,tears, insecurity, its been a battle for 3 years.. Yes Lord I hear you clear is NOT like this @ all. Even with my ex husband never treated me so low & no respect.. Now his 48, he loves by words, yet his actions are lacking….IT HURTS!! We even took a marriage class. He can put an invention together, he can make a grown bloom, he can play the piano – Yet he cannot & has not made this heart bloom protect & up hold…
I know better, if this guy was the one things between us would be unfolding… The pages of our not so love story, are not being written beautifully & our not so love is not manifesting… I been single for 8 years, THANK LORD ALMIGHTY FOR GIVING WISDON NOT TO SETTLE…
HE HAS PROVEN THAT HE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF MY HEART! LORD SHOW ME ALL THE TRUTH ABOUT HIM CLEAR AS DAY!! IN JESUS NAME – AMEN!
WHOEVER YOU HAVE FOR ME, WON’T BE SUCH A BATTLE..
MY HEART WILL BE VALUED, I WILL BE VALUED & RESPECTED!!
HOW CAN YOU LOVE THE LORD, YET HIS WAYS OF LOVE FOR ME, BRING ME EMPTINESS….
LORD HELP ME TO STAND MY GROUND, MAY YOUR PERFECT WILL COME TO PASS, MAY YOU BRING CLEAR AS DAY THE WHO LOVES YOU WITH ALL HIS MIGHT & SHOW THE KIND OF LOVE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH…AMEN
I STAND IN THE GAP FOR ALL THE SISTER’S IN THIS APP, PRAYING THAT YOUR WILL FOR AN ON FIRED FOR YOU GOD, WILL BE THAT TYPE A MAN..
LOVE IS NOT CONFUSING..
LOVE IS NOT PAINFUL
LOVE IS PEAC3FUL
LOVE IS TRUE
LOVE IS RESPECTFUL
LOVE PUTS THE OTHER FIRSTS
LOVE IS NOT SECOND AFTER THOUGHT
LOVE DOES NOT PUTS THINGS OF THIS WORLD FIRST..INVENTION, PIANO & GARDEN…
IN JESUS NAME AMEN!
Thank you Sharon, I agree, time will tell. My mom said the same thing, about the cards and flowers thing. She likes him for me BTW. I know I’ve matured, because back in the day a sistah would have been long gone, but I’m in no hurray right now…so I’m going to wait on God.
Joyce you have spoken your own truth now receive it in your heart. God is LOVE, He would not have you empty, broken and in tears. No way my sister. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. Your guy has shown you who he is, believe him. Now ask yourself is this the future you want to have – despair, loneliness, emptiness, tears🤔?
These devotions come right on time. Lord, thanks for not allowing me to settle and to understand you want the best for me. I gave up a 5 year relationship because I wanted more and he didn’t… I walked away because I serve a God that wants me to have LIFE and have it more abundantly. This message is so powerful because God loves us so much that he wants us to have peace and happiness with the person we spend the rest of our lives with…. Lord I pray that you prepare me for the man you have for me. Mold me into the woman you need me to be.. Lord send me what I need and not what I want. Lord I want you to send me a man that loves me like Christ loves the church.. Lord I vow to you that I will wait on the man you have for me and not lean on my own understanding but in always acknowledge you oh God… Thank you God for wisdom and strength to acknowledge my worth and realize “I am the PRIZE”
Awesome devotion for the readers knowing your worth and your respect may the Lord continue to bless his ministry and to all the readers❤❤
I have been with this guy for almost two years.
He treats me very well to a certain extent. He would spoil me. Buy me gifts and give me money weekly. Pays for my salon visits. He would make time for me. We speak of our future and settling down.
But the thing is he gets upset really quick and its like he always wants to quarrel in public and that makes me feel small and disrespected. He appears to be very sensitive.
There have been instances where he has lied to me about petty things…
Example: 1. He told me that he only has conversations about his daughter’s needs with the mother of his child. This proved false later on. 2. He has called me by my younger sister’s name on many occasions. I have also realized that he looks at her a lot, sometimes showing a desire for her in they way he looks at her. I spoke to him about it on many occasions and he insisted that he isn’t doing it. I proved this false because a day I literally place my hands over his eyes. He then stopped, looked at me and he was speechless.
3. He invited to his daughter’s sporting event and he insisted that I should come and that more of his family members would be there to support his daughter. I went and they never showed up, it was just him, his daughter and her mother.
He kept looking at the mother of his child through the entire event. During the event he informed me that he was the one who arranged a ride to bring his daughter (and her mother) to the event. I was feeling uncomfortable so I left. After I got home he messaged me to let me know that he borrowed a vehicle and dropped them off to their house. I told him that I wasn’t happy about it and it looks like he is going out of his way to drop her off – He insisted that he was doing it only for his daughter. IDK, how the father and child mother relationship works but it troubled my spirit.
So lately I have been praying and thinking a lot about this relationship… Wanting to know if I should stay or leave.
This devotional really touched me and I will keep praying to know my next move…
Please respond need to see things from other persons perspectives
Meri – is he a Christian? What is God telling you? Lastly, will you be happy in this type of relationship for the rest of you life? The questions, the doubt? You stated you’ve caught him in lies. Do you think God wants that for you?
This is a right on time message: “Don’t settle for less – wait for the right one”
Trust God. I believe you know the answer. May the Lord give you clarity and help you believe that God wants the best for you. It’s not about things, it’s about love, trusting someone, integrity, serving God together. Blessings Meri.
Hi Merl, please don’t settle for this guy. All the signs and Red flags are in you face. He’s calling you your sisters name and looking at her with desire, of course he’s going to LIE about it because it’s TRUE. His daughter’s mother, from what I’ve read they’re still creepin. I’m sorry to say that but it’s my perspective from what I read. My Sister you are worth more than that. Please don’t settle, wait on GOD!!! God Bless
Thank you for this word today, this is TRUE🌹🌼🌻❤ I am waiting on God🙏. Only God know who is the one for me. Thank you God, In Jesus Name Amen 🙏🙏🙏💜❤💚💛🌹
Thank YOU my LORD FATHER GOD”, Whoooooo this hits the Spot. I hear you all my Sister. I wish I had this message 20 years ago. What I had was Sister Chrissy you know what you need to do and GOD Will BLESS You, straight head on from our LORD and I cried and said yes yes my LORD. Three different times, different women of GOD, Confirmed by HOLY SPIRIT the Word. Signs things he did was enough to know i had to let go. Well i asked how do i do this my LORD? I believe we had 8 years together about that time. Believe it wasn’t good. each day seemed like HE fought to keep our relationship coming against our church our Pastor. One day HE walked in Church calling me out of church I refused our Pastor came out and council’ed him and I and said Gordon She’s not your wife why don’t you just get married! that was the seed the snare the lie. Like a fool I didn’t obey I got married to him it was hell going through the day we got married and 20 years down the line. I wished that I obey’d GOD HE Knows better. I’m still seeking our KING never stopped although it surely has been a battle for me. GOD has always been faithful and merciful to me. HE forgave me as well. I still want out of this marriage, I’ve been looking for a place a better job so I could leave I have too. for me my husband is JESUS. Thank You Sister Keisha Dotk Ministrie GLORY TO GOD Hallelujah Your Ministrie was no mistake It’s GOD. GOD Used You your Ministrie to help me through. I’m fighting the good fight I’m walking into my destiny. This message is powerful listen Ladies let GOD do the choosing it’s his plan. Don’t go through what I went through. I LOVE YOU all my Sisters GOD BLESS Sister Chrissy Honolulu Hawai’i United States AMEN AMEN
Thank YOU my LORD FATHER GOD”, Whoooooo this hits the Spot. I hear you all my Sister. I wish I had this message 20 years ago. What I had was Sister Chrissy you know what you need to do and GOD Will BLESS You, straight head on from our LORD and I cried and said yes yes my LORD. Three different times, different women of GOD, Confirmed by HOLY SPIRIT the Word. Signs things he did was enough to know i had to let go. Well i asked how do i do this my LORD? I believe we had 8 years together about that time. Believe it wasn’t good. each day seemed like HE fought to keep our relationship coming against our church our Pastor. One day HE walked in Church calling me out of church I refused our Pastor came out and council’ed him and I and said Gordon She’s not your wife why don’t you just get married! that was the seed the snare the lie. Like a fool I didn’t obey I got married to him it was hell going through the day we got married and 20 years down the line. I wished that I obey’d GOD HE Knows better. I’m still seeking our KING never stopped although it surely has been a battle for me. GOD has always been faithful and merciful to me. HE forgave me as well. I still want out of this marriage, I’ve been looking for a place a better job so I could leave I have too. for me my husband is JESUS. Thank You Sister Keisha Dotk Ministrie GLORY TO GOD Hallelujah Your Ministrie was no mistake It’s GOD. GOD Used You your Ministrie to help me through. I’m fighting the good fight I’m walking into my destiny. This message is powerful listen Ladies let GOD do the choosing it’s his plan. Don’t go through what I went through. I LOVE YOU all my Sisters
What to do if i already lost him by one of my mistake
All of your testimonies has truly been a help to me. Judy it seems that we have the same one. I’m going to patiently wait on the lord!!