Oh, friend… this right here is real. This is the kind of truth most people feel but don’t always say out loud.
Life-altering events rarely come wrapped in something beautiful. They barge in. They shatter. They steal the air from your lungs. Betrayal. Divorce. Abuse. Diagnosis. Accidents. Death. The kind of moments that divide your life into before and after.
Most people don’t process their pain.
Not because they’re weak.
Not because they don’t care.
But because life does not pause for heartbreak.
The kids are still hungry.
The laundry still piles up.
The job still expects you to show up.
The world keeps spinning when your world just stopped.
So you survive.
You go into task mode.
You stay busy because busy doesn’t cry.
Busy feels productive.
Busy feels strong.
Busy keeps you from sitting in the quiet… where the truth is waiting.
But buried pain doesn’t disappear. It just goes underground.
And underground things grow roots.
Unprocessed betrayal becomes suspicion.
Unprocessed abandonment becomes insecurity.
Unprocessed trauma becomes control.
Unprocessed grief becomes numbness.
And before long, you’re reacting to people who didn’t wound you as if they did.
“Hurt people hurt people” isn’t just a catchy phrase — it’s a warning sign.
The hard, holy work is this:
Stopping long enough to admit, “That broke me.”
Not to live there.
Not to stay stuck.
But to invite God into the exact place that aches.
He cannot heal what we refuse to uncover.
Sometimes we think strength means pushing through.
But biblical strength often looks like surrender.
It looks like sitting with the Lord and saying,
“Search me. Show me what I buried. I don’t want to bleed on people who didn’t cut me.”
That takes courage.
Because facing it feels like reopening a wound.
But in reality, it’s allowing the Great Physician to clean it so it can finally close correctly.
You are not weak for needing healing.
You are wise.
And here’s the beautiful part — the goal isn’t just survival.
It’s transformation.
God doesn’t waste pain.
He refines through it.
He rebuilds through it.
He restores identity through it.
But only the pain we bring to Him can become power in Him.
So maybe… yes.
Maybe it is time to look inside your heart.
Not with shame.
Not with condemnation.
But with honesty.
Ask yourself:
• What am I still angry about?
• What do I avoid thinking about?
• Who do I still resent?
• Where did I start building walls?
And then hand it to Him — piece by piece.
You were never meant to carry silent wounds for decades.
You were meant to be healed.
Whole.
Free.
And freedom begins when we stop running from what hurt us and start letting God into it.
Scripture: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” Psalm 139:23–24, KJV.
By Susan Bolinger
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This devotional brought me to tears 🥹. I am so broken I don’t know where to start to pick up the pieces. I try to walk by faith but it seems every time I move forward, I get pushed back. But, God. I still here. I won’t give up on God and pray He won’t give up on me. He is able. Thank you. I needed to read this. Blessings, Shalom and Agape 👀🙏🏽♥️📖🙌🏽
Waves and waves of love are coming into you and around you. You are so loved and cherished that our King of Kings wants you to know this. Just breathe and accept the waves of love that are permeating your whole being. You are worth it.
THANK YOU!!!
Praise to my King of Kings and His amazing Daughters here!
Thank you for this awesome word. I really needed to read and digest this.
I needed to hear this. I’m still dealing with a lot of hurts from my husbands betrayal. I’ve been through counseling and they say that I’ve come a long way. I don’t feel it though because I have still been suspicious because his behaviors have repeated. Then, he tells me last night he wants a divorce. This time, I’m not angry. We’ve been down this road 3 times now. God has given me a lot of strength this time to move forward. But this devotional is now my prayer…heal me Lord and show me what’s true.
I’m sorry you have been hurt and betrayed. I’m saddened to read your husband is stating he wants a divorce. I’ve been in your shoes and I never thought I would get past the betrayals, the abuse or the pain. BUT GOD! Oh how he has brought me through it all. He put amazing women in my life who walked me through my pain. He surrounded me with women of faith who helped me lean into HIM and restore me, my life and my future. HE IS SO FAITHFUL! He will give you more than you can ever imagine. Lean into our Mighty Comforter, Counselor, Restorer and Redeemer. Seek Christian counseling, attend divorce care etc etc. You will get through this and you will be amazed at all the wonderful things your future holds with HIM at the center guiding and orchestrating it all. Bless you and best wishes! 🙏
Thank you for this devotion. I loved every part of it. You are great writer and I always appreciate your contributions to DOTK. Bless you! 🙏
Amen praise the Lord so well said thank you Jesus for brothers and sisters that share things to remind you of things thank you sister. God bless everyone.
Amen, yes, Father search me, help me find the earthly family I was robbed from. In Yeshua Messiah HOLY SPIRIT name. Amen
Thank you! I felt this at the core of my gut and my heart! I forgave ex. The house we bought together,my family hurt help. We closed Thanksgiving, and that Christmas he takes his wedding ring off, i called my spiritually Mother she said pray released him to God and if he comes back that was God will. God released the truth,3 month later he meet a nurse at work. I nevered said a word. I had a dreamed that he asked for a divorce and next morning he called for a divorced. I was in the middle of a car accident case, he sued me for part of the money. When car was paid, he wasent in the car accident. He got part of the money.
We divorced, he married her and then he a yr or later divorced.
This is over 15 yrs later.
I did write him a later not saying anything regarding her. But I asked forgiveness for anything I would done, and I said same thing.
He came from a good Christian family, 3 brothers Christian their still single.
I have suffered so much. He won. His had multiple of woman in the house.
O beloved father I pray for your will, a house for me and my brother. Restoration of life. O how i miss to be loved. Father, Jesus and Holy Sprit lead feel your love, calmness, peace and your will.
Is been years and years. Father, I brake any ties, that keep me bound to him in the name of Jesus. Cleanse my heart, i forgive of anything incorrect.
Bless each and every sister, needing healing in powerful name of Jesus Amen
Susan Bolinger thankyou so much for your contribution to daughters of the king however I must ask how do you bring your specific hurts to the Lord when they have been locked away for so long you don’t even know what they are anymore I fail on a daily basis because of depression I watch youtube videos about the word of God because I find it impossible to absorb scripture and use it in my journey with Jesus ive been praying for my husband who hasn’t accepted Jesus now im thinking God isn’t answering my prayer because he is my third husband and yes I was born again when I married my first husband but back slid badly in between my second and third husbands I lived with a abusive alcoholic then a narcissist I carried guilt in my heart because my Son saw all of it he forgave me and because he is born again in a nutshell I really need prayer to finally let go of the pain God bless you 🙏